sideofstars

maybe

I live in a constant state of ambivalence that is simply inescapable.

Maybe that’s because I feel every emotion too deeply and think every thought to oblivion.

Maybe because of that I am perpetually being pulled in two different directions until my entire being is ripped in half over and over again.

Maybe I say “maybe” too much when I’m writing.

Maybe that’s because it’s easier and less embarrassing to say than most definitely. 

It feels less certain and finalized, it makes me believe that I actually have a say in who I am and what I do.

But deep down I know that I most definitely maybe will forever be resewing stitches down the center of myself.

And I know that I maybe most definitely will never face that.

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