exist like this

Sometimes I forget how old I am. 

And sometimes I forget how old I’m not.

I constantly feel like I’ve lived hundreds of lives, yet at the same time none at all.

But regardless of which life I’m in, I will never exist like this again.

I will never bear this skin draped over these bones guarding these lungs again.

And so I will look deeply into myself and all that I am.

I will stick my hand down my throat until it reaches my heart, then ring it out and hang it up to dry.

And I will wear it on my sleeve no matter what state it’s in.

Because I will never exist like this again.

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